Dear Family Resource,
Today I got a call from my mother who said, “It’s time for me to move.” I’ve been expecting this call for about a year now – mom is 84 and alone since dad died. Her eyesight is poor, and she can no longer drive, but she does like to get out, go shopping, and just stay busy. I also live alone, and she and I have talked about buying a place where the two of us could live comfortably together.
I work full-time so mom will move to where I live, but first I need to buy a place. I currently live in a townhouse with two bedrooms upstairs which won’t work for us at all. I plan to call a realtor but I’m not sure what I want. The only thing that I know for certain is that mom will need a bedroom and bathroom on the first floor. Can you give me some ideas of what I should be looking for?
~Mom’s New Roommate
Dear Mom’s New Roommate,
Have the two of you decided that living together is what you both want? Should your mother move to a new town to be near you, will she rely solely on you for activities and socialization, and later to be her primary caregiver?
I think the two of you should consider what you both want in the near and not so near future. It makes perfect sense that your mother will move to be closer to you. It makes everything easier for you as she ages, and it is comforting for her to know you are there for her.
The two of you should consider her finances, her activity level, her health, and her interests. The two of you should consider all of her housing options and take a good look at various senior living options.
There are so many options, certainly living together is one option. Be sure it is the right option for both of you because you only want your mother to have to move once.
Best to you both,